Happy they are gone.

I'm unwinding from my day. I'm sitting in my classroom with the door open and listening to the school empty out. I can't believe how noisy it is. My kids were really talkative this afternoon. Some days are like this. You get your class back from lunch and they're a different bunch than you started with. I trace today's behaviors in the afternoon to the way my students were treated at lunch. They were yelled out by the lunch monitors and the lunch servers for the entire 45-minute period. They didn't go out to recess. They were made to sit longer and listen to more yelling when the period was over because of their behavior. They ate in silence. They weren't allowed to get up and move around. Some of this they earned because of bad choices. A few students were pushing others. A few were talking too loudly and wouldn't stop. That's pretty normal for lunch. Did it require a teacher yelling at them through a bullhorn for 45 minutes?

We talk a lot about discipline and breaking cycles of despair and defeat. We talk a lot about using new methods and restorative discipline. After all this talk, many people in my school just go back to doing the same old thing. Yelling at kids with a bullhorn is the wrong thing to do and results in my class becoming nutty for the rest of the the day. I have a super headache from them because they wouldn't stop talking. Sheesh.

Happy Rosh Hashanah to all of my Jewish friends and family.

Fail to plan, Plan to fail.

I'm concerned about the economy. This $700 million bailout frightens me, too. Think about how many screw ups the Bush Administration has gotten us into by telling us we have to act right now. Think about how many people have been maimed, imprisoned, or killed and think about how much money has been squandered. Every time Bush or an interchangeable Bush crony has said we have to act now. No time for debate or contract bids. No time for a plan. Is this what they teach at Harvard Business School?

This rookie schoolteacher gives this new plan and this administration an F. Teacher comments - Fail to plan. Plan to fail.

Isn't it ironic?

I'm always on my students to have their independent reading book with them and ready for action. Guess who forgot his independent reading book at school? I hate when I do that.

I don't have much time to read it anyway because of all the paperwork I have to do. I had a parent/student conference today and writing up my notes from that adds more paperwork to my day. If this boy would simply take his meds my life would be so easy. Before becoming a teacher and a parent, I thought medicating kids was a cruel joke and a crutch. Teaching for all this time has disabused me of that position. This boy Stanley is a case in point. Without his meds he's a holy terror. He's manic. He can't control himself physically and emotionally. With the medicine he's a calm, smart, sweet kid. He's trapped in his own body without meds. I can see the real Stanley peeking out as he's rolling on the floor without meds. So sad. Mom, if you're reading GIVE STANLEY HIS MEDS so he can learn in room 312 tomorrow!

My mountain of work awaits.

Diminishing returns

It's on. I'm overwhelmed with paperwork. The school is under the gun with making AYP and I don't see how we're going to do it. Our state test scores continue to drop instead of rise. This is the law of diminishing returns that I warned would be the result of NCLB. Anyway, raising our test scores is our mantra and I'm going to do it one ream of paper into the copier and then into the file cabinet at a time.

My new crop of kids aren't going to be setting the state tests on fire, unless they use a lighter. I will do everything once again to help them succeed. I hope it is enough. Everything is still the same, however. The kids are the same sullen mess. The parents have high hopes but have already disappeared after the first flurry of detention slips. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. It's looking bleak as I grade the first math test of the year. Almost everyone bombed it - except for the kid who's repeating the grade.

On a brighter note, I'm mentoring a new teacher. I'm sure that I'll be better than my mentor. I don't ride a broom to work (rim shot).

Thoughts at the beginning.

School has begun and let's catch up. I've gotten to know my class and I like them. I don't love them yet. I still pine for some of last year's bunch. It's that way at the beginning. I'll be loving this bunch about Thanksgiving time.

I've given out about 5 detentions so far. Detentions for stupid crap like fighting, talking too much, and not doing homework. Not bad. My other teachers are having varying degrees of success. Many are writing dozens of detentions, yelling, etc. Been there. Done that. Done with that.

I find it really funny how the new kids take the roles of the kids you had before. The teachers do it too. Last year there was a sullen kid that gave me attitude about everything. Everything was too much for him. Well, he's still in my room inhabiting another body. I have another kid who is the talkative one with the enabling mother. Another who believes all white people are racists and that's why she keeps getting Ds in math. Hmm....

The teachers do the same thing. I had two teachers leave my crew. Their replacements are almost the same. One is very concerned about leaving at 3 with the kids. She's not staying one minute longer and she's not doing any work off the clock. (Exactly like her predecessor.) The other is brand new and is struggling to stay afloat in her classroom. (Exactly like her predecessor.) It makes me smile. I smell a doctoral thesis topic.

I've been reading student journals tonight. Oh my God do I have a lot of teaching to do! These kids can't spell, punctuate, capitalize, or write coherent paragraphs. I'm not sure what their previous teachers did. It's unbelievable. Some of the writing touched my heart, though, because their heart shows through the penmanship and spelling. The boy who wrote about going to the corner store and coming back home to his family involved in a confused drunken argument. The girl who wrote with such skill about the sadness of an aunt's involvement in 9/11. I've got a lot of teaching to do with my new bunch. We'll get there.

Obama, take me away!

I'm watching the Republican Convention and I just can't believe how wacko they are. Holy crap! I'm getting scared. Obama has to win. The more I watch, the more nauseated I get. Each speaker is more delusional than the last. Obama! Win Obama! Please win. I can't take 4 years of Track, Willow, etc.

School is on. Got to get my sleep so I'm ready.

The waiting is the hardest part.

My classroom is becoming more like a home. I'm in a new place this year. I'm up for teaching. I feel rejuvenated. The kids will be here soon and, frankly, I can't wait.

Flush twice; it's a long way to the cafeteria.

School starts soon and I'm in meetings all day long. I really want to be in my classroom getting it ready. Instead, I'm sitting in meetings about how to sign in properly in the morning, how to log in on the school computer properly, and how to sign out and account for your curriculum and textbooks. I don't give a flying fig about any of this. I just want to hang up my posters and put away my teaching gear. Tomorrow we have important meetings scheduled about good stuff like how to put the id tag lanyard around your neck. I can't wait.

I'm calm about the whole thing, though. I know everything will be ready in time. If not, the kids won't know anyway. We don't use much school stuff during the first week. The first days of school are all about building the team. I'll be in front of my students soon and it will be great. My end of summer angst has faded. I'm looking forward to meeting my new kids. I'm excited to be teaching again.

Trying not to dwell on the upcoming year.

I'm sad because my summer is winding down. Soon, the meetings will begin in preparation for the school year to come. I love these summer days. It's wonderful to eat, drink, pee, and work on my schedule.

Here's to a few more days of peace.

My Friend

Why do administrators set us up to fail? I ask this question because my friend is losing her teaching job. She is a Spanish teacher and works in a charter school. She signed her contract and went on summer vacation secure in the idea she'd be working in the Fall. On the last day of June she got call from the principal. "Sorry, Ms. Clemente, we're going to be moving in a different direction with Spanish. It's not you, it's the school. We need the Spanish to be more of the heart and soul of our program and we just weren't feeling your commitment." My friend said, "What?" That was it. She'd had glowing observations for all of her work. No problems or letters in her file. How can you fight "we weren't feeling your commitment?"

She had worked so hard on getting her students to learn. She'd done programs showcasing the Spanish for parent nights and the end of the year celebrations. She'd done much of it on her own because only the vaguest of guidelines were given by the administration. (#1 way administrators set us up.) Not one of the administrators came to any of the programs but the programs were a way of judging her "commitment." (#2 set up) She was given practically no materials (textbooks, paper, supplies) yet was expected to teach 400 kids from a mobile Spanish cart. (#3 set up)

I feel so sad for my friend. She made her own materials, set up programs, did everything without any help, taught 400 students mostly out of her own ingenuity and pocket. Now she's done. She wasn't "committed." They should commit some of these insane principals.

All teachers feel this sense of being set up from time to time and have seen it happen to others. Administrators pick people to ruin and everyone knows it. We watch as it happens. The blood is in the water from day one and no one steps in to help the person. We know they're a goner. I've had it happen to me and seen it happen. Neither way is good. One way you're death on a stick and the other way you're a coward. At least with the union you have someone to back you up. My charter school friend has nothing. She will collect unemployment but that's it. Another one bites the dust as an administrator laughs. This is a tough profession. Definitely not for the weak.

By the way, Charter schools are just a way to break unions and suck public money into private hands. That's all they are. Don't be fooled. Smart business people saw money they wanted and couldn't get. They manipulated the system until they got it. The teachers and students are just a cover to hide their money grab. Someday soon this won't be just Rookie Schoolteacher blogging, this will be on the cover of the NY Times. Follow the money.

A Response

ekmatth said...
Hello there, I am a pre-service teacher reading blogs for a class and your blog caught my attention. I have wanted to teach in an inner city school for some time, but reading your blogs make me think hard about it. Your last comment really struck me though. "There's so much they don't know. I wish I could have done a better job for them. Pouring my guts out every day wasn't enough." Doesn't that make you want to keep trying for the one chance that you might help someone? I never saw if you decided to stay or not at the school...what's the verdict?

Hello there pre-service teacher,

I don't want to discourage you from teaching in the inner city. Please come give us a hand. I write my blog to vent frustrations, give voice to the voiceless, make political commentary, fuss and fume, scream out to the gods, laugh at the system and myself, and occasionally to cry. I teach where I teach because I want to make a difference. I want to reach kids and help them succeed. This is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Like a good magic trick, good teaching looks like something easy to do. Once you get to do it, you find it is the hardest thing to do properly. It is a constant learning process. My blog is sometimes misunderstood. My irreverence or profanity is sometimes taken for a lack of care or cynicism.

To answer your question, I am staying in my school. This was my most successful year yet. It is a slow process in the inner city, at least from my perspective, and there were lots of kids that found success in my classroom. My best year to date contained joys and sadness. Being a teacher in any school system or location gives you a mixture of all the emotions. My location gives me a lot to gripe about because it is so bleak. Last week there was a pre-service teacher murdered in Philly. He came to teach math and ended up being killed for his iPod. There was a student shot as the Strawberry Mansion High School graduation ceremonies were ending. (What is up with that?) There were two people murdered at a Chinese "store" just a block from my school last Wednesday night. I stop at this intersection almost every day because of the traffic light. I see and hear a lot in the inner city. I deal with the deficits in every area. My kids come to me behind in almost every way. I help them move up but where do they move to? It's a process. I don't have any solutions. I just try. Every day is a new day to try again. I do my best. Lots of the time I'm exhausted. Some of the exhaustion comes from normal teacher stuff. Some comes from all the extra stuff that comes with teaching inside the bottom of the barrel. My suburban colleagues don't have to fight all the battles I fight.

Hopefully, you will join me to fight the battles, too. It's going to be tough. The kids are going to give you a hell of a lot of sh$t. The parents will, too. The school will be insane. Like nothing you have ever seen before. The administrators will not have time to care. You will be lonely. You will be brave. You will cry. You will work your tail off. You will survive. Good luck. Check in to let me know how you are doing. I sure hope I haven't discouraged you.

The Teacher

It's over!

I was watching The Love Bug the other day (the original, not the Lohan version) and a line or two sums up what some of the year was like for us all:

"I'm a prisoner, can you help me?"

"We all prisoners, Chicky Baby. We all locked in."

From the mouths of Hippies.

******

Check me out! I'm done, baby! The kids are gone! Hallelujah! The kids are gone! Can I get a witness?! Amen, brothers and sisters! Amen!

Squelch it!

It's so close to being done. This is kind of a summary of how I feel today. The solo at 2:01 is an accurate view into my psyche.

We're Having a Heat Wave!

Thank God for heat waves! This is the second day in a row of record heat and half day closings. We ought to stay on the half day schedule from here on out. The kids are getting worse. The staff is losing patience. It's all over anyway. Any administrators reading? Please let us out! Please let us pack up our boxes, take down our posters, and turn out the lights.

If that diamond ring don't shine, Bo gonna take it to a Private Eye!

Bo Diddley died the other day and I'm sad. He was the best guitar player I think I've ever seen (Club Bene', Sayreville, NJ, 1987). Effortless. I just learned the song "Love is Strange" usually connected to Mickey and Sylvia was written by Bo. You learn new stuff every day. Listen to WMFU right now. It's all Bo tonight. Let's remember the master.

Some things...

Some things I've been thinking about. This timely message came from my union, the fantastic AFT:

Last night, the U.S. House of Representatives passed H.R. 3021, the 21st Century Green High-Performing Public School Facilities Act, by a vote of 250-164. Despite the issuance of a veto threat by President Bush, 27 members of his own party voted for the bill.

This is a tremendous victory for public schools, educators and children. The legislation authorizes $6.4 billion annually to help states and school districts address school conditions that compromise learning and teaching. The bill also creates more than 100,000 well-paying construction jobs and supports AFT efforts to promote green, sustainable schools.

This is important stuff because we need more school renovations, repairs, and new construction. Have you seen some of the conditions in the city schools? There are some scary school buildings.

**************

I was teaching today and one of my students says to another student, "You think you're tough? My Mom is tough. She's been in jail at least 15 times for fighting. She'll mess you up and not even care!" So I'm listening to this. This Mom was here in the room this morning delivering her daughter's backpack. We've talked numerous times. She's a nice lady. It doesn't matter but it makes you think. I'm happy I'm on the woman's good side. How many places do you work where you are surrounded by people that have been incarcerated? Just a glimpse into my life for you, gentle reader.

The kids are getting nuttier by the minute. I wrote my share of referrals for detention today. All the teachers did. I notice as I wander the building how even the most patient and mild mannered of us have changed. Everyone has some steel in their voice. No one has any patience left. Thank goodness the year is almost done. Everyone is spent. The sad part is although I'm spent, the students are not ready for the next grade. There's so much they don't know. I wish I could have done a better job for them. Pouring my guts out every day wasn't enough.

June 1st!

It's June 1st! Not long to go. I was reading the NY Times this morning and an essay by Joe Queenan resonated with me. He talks about how his reading of giant books has impacted his life. The household jobs pile up around Joe as he reads The Man Without Qualities by Robert Musil. I can identify. My tiny lawn needs cutting, the gutters need clearing, laundry needs doing, and all sorts of other things need to be done, but I have end of the year papers to grade, reports to file, files to stuff, boxes to pack, and all sorts of things to get done at school. The home life suffers a bit longer as this end of the year stuff is sorted. Plus, I'd rather be reading an engrossing book and not doing any of it. The end is neigh!

On another front, I was driving in on Thursday morning and heard a wonderful song on WKDU. "Amerika First" by the Gizmos. If you happen to be driving through the Philly area or happen to be driving the Internet on Thursdays check out Scott's show, Music for Your Methlab. He plays the best stuff. I tune in to get in the mood for teaching or whatever I'm doing on a Thursday.

Cartman

I was watching South Park last night and in the episode Cartman becomes a teacher and is sent to the inner city to teach at-risk children. (The reasons are too bizarre to get into.) He changes his appearance and looks like Jaime Escalante in Stand and Deliver. This episode was funny as hell but was surprisingly accurate in its view of the inner city classroom. I have been in places like the graffiti-tagged school he ends up in. The students he teaches were a lot like my first 7th-grade class. Also Kyle's warning to Cartman was so true: "Dude, you're a white boy giving orders... they're going to f&*$ing kill you." Throughout, Cartman turns to the audience and says "How do I reach these kids?" Something I say a million times, although without the Spanish accent Cartman was using. (Also Cartman tells them to cheat because that's what White people do. I can't get behind that sort of thing.) Anyhow, it was a wonderful way to laugh myself into bed. I've never quoted from South Park before. Cartman was so cute as a tiny Mr. Escalante.

Yes! Good times are coming.

It was really a tough day at school. The kids weren't very happy to be back and neither was I. Here's some advice to the students reading my blog. If you don't want to be at school keep your head down and keep a low profile. Getting in my face and calling me a mother%$*#ing racist is not a good way to go because I'm going to have you suspended. Just some advice.

The end of the year can't come fast enough for me or my wonderful scholars. Soon we'll all be relaxing on my deck with Cubans and snifters of brandy. Reflecting on the good times. Reflecting on the anger management yo yo team that came to school today with their message of "positivity" in the face of crack, AIDS, neglect, and grinding poverty. "Be positive people and spread positivity everywhere! You can do it! Now watch me walk the dog!" You can't eat a yo yo for a balanced breakfast and a yo yo sure doesn't listen to you gripe about your day or draw you a warm bath. Sorry to be so unpositive.

Huzzah!

The weekend is sweet. Monday is a day off. What a relief that the weekend is here. Raise your glass of limeade or handful of cheese doodles high with me! Happy Memorial Day Weekend to one and all and to all a good night! Now snuggle up with visions of sugarplums dancing in your head.