Up to my neck in paperwork

Today was a horrible day. What's with the kids lately? No one wants to do anything. Everyone wants to fight. The whole school is like this.

On days like this I wish one of the many morons who like to kick teachers could teach science to my kids.

I'll smile as they eat you alive.

I need a smile but will settle for a beer.

My headache is raging and it's been hours since I was locked inside my roasting hot classroom.

I want to do something else. I want to go watch tv and relax. Instead, I'm up to my neck in paperwork and grades and report cards.

Tomorrow three of my worst kids are getting suspended. It will be like Christmas, Woodstock, and a trip to the liquor store all rolled into one.

Black History Month

I've been teaching all day and it's been frustrating. We're in the midst of Black History Month or African-American History Month or whatever you want to call it. My kids are learning about famous African Americans from all walks of life and time periods. My frustration is you'd think the kids might be respectful since we're learning about people who are like them. People who have similar backgrounds. People who look and feel like them. You'd think this would make a difference. It doesn't. I might as well be teaching about ancient Roman cisterns or slime molds or the devaluation of the Rupee. They don't give a damn about anything I have to say.

Who cares about Rosa Parks, George Washington Carver, Malcolm X, or Marcus Garvey? Obviously, none of this stuff is important to anyone but the Rookie Schoolteacher himself. "Mr.? We got to know this?"
"This stuff is whack! I know this stuff. I learned it already."
"Yes, we need to learn and know this stuff."
"Ahhhh man.... I ain't learning this...."
"Why can't we learn about Michael Jordan?"
"He's on the list."
"Ahhhh... I don't... I ain't...I...."
"I ain't doing any of this sh&%!"

And so it goes. It gets to me how everything is so negative in the environment where I teach. Seemingly, no one wants to know a goddamn thing. No one cares about anything. I'm a spaceman come to impart knowledge but no one heeds it. At the end of the day I blast off in my spaceship and go back to my home planet. The metaphor is me. I really am a friggin' spaceman. I live on what is effectively another planet.

These kids don't even give a crap about Barack Obama. How sad is that? How do I reach them?

I'm really hoping Barack wins, by the way. I love the guy and he will finish once and for all one of the gripes my students love to throw at me and all teachers - "No one is going to elect a black president." I can see it now. Barack takes the oath. A silly student says "They ain't going to let a black man do anything so I don't have to do this sh$% either!" "What are you talking about. We have a black president. Get out your pencil and notebook and GET TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!"

I really love Black History Month. You know The Autobiography of Malcolm X is my favorite book? I love history. Ask my wife. When she leaves the room I switch to the History Channel. It bugs me that the kids take no joy in it. What do they take joy in?

I really have to get out of the inner city, someday.

Low reserves

This past week was tough. I'm not sure what's been eating me but my reservoir of patience is running low. I'll admit that some of my week's difficulties came from my lack of patience. The climate of the school is changing too. I notice less and less energy from my students. The energy has been replaced with smoldering anger. My students and the students in the general population from K-8 are beginning to go. We're all starting to lose them. Rookie schoolteachers and vets are all starting to see slippage. They are realizing spring means school's almost done. Voices are speaking deep inside saying "Stop listening! It's almost done!"

Say a prayer for all those people shot in Illinois. Classrooms shouldn't be shooting galleries. Enough said.

I'm going to enjoy my Presidents Day Weekend. Hope you enjoy yours. Think about Polk or Chester A. Arthur. They never get any play. Send one out to Benjamin Harrison or William Henry Harrison. Think about Tippicanoe and Tyler too. Party like a rockstar or even better like Andrew Jackson. Look it up.

Just another day filled with fluids.

I have a real problem with my kids and trips to the nurse. They literally pull out their teeth. I teach young ones and losing teeth is natural. It isn't natural to pull out a tooth that's kind of loose so you can take a trip to the nurse and get out of class for a while. A student this week said "Mr. my tooth is hurtin'." She went to the bathroom. Five minutes later she's back and there's blood everywhere. It's all over her blouse, it's on the door handle, it's everywhere! Ugh!!!!!!

In this day and age you can't be too careful. I have a thing about bodily fluids. I already put myself in jeopardy just to get to work. I don't want any of your goo on me. (That doesn't sound very teacher nurturing touchy feelie hippie dippy does it? Blow it out your pencil sharpener if it bothers you. I'm afraid of Hepatitis, HIV, Christian Conservatism, anything that's communicable.) I put on my school issued rubber gloves, the kids laugh, and I send this young lady to the nurse. I wash everything down with cleaner. I seethe inside because this didn't have to happen. That tooth wasn't that loose if all that blood came too. Just another thing we like to do in my room.

I think I could write a novella about the things the children do to get to go to the nurse/bathroom/front desk/water fountain.

A friend of mine has a student that poops his pants two times a day. Things could always be worse. They ought to carve that phrase on my teacher tombstone someday, that or "Wu Tang Forever."

I'm writing from deep inside my hazmat suit. Good day.

Keeping the maniacs at bay.

Wow, I didn't realize until logging in that my last post was my 222nd on January 22nd. Cool. The posts do accumulate over time.

I should have gone up to the Meadowlands to see Barack Obama today. The afternoon was very difficult. I don't like having extra kids in my room and that's what happened to me today. Many, many teachers were out and we can't get any subs in the inner city and that leaves us teachers on the hook with extra beligerent kids. Try doing your job when you have kids actively trying to undermine everything you are doing at every step of the way.

I ponder my life at these points. How in the Hell did I get into a career where I have to yell at people and fight with them all the time? Sure, I reason and use my smarts and my teacher training but sometimes you just have to go toe to toe. I fight with no one in my personal life and I love that about my life. I don't want to fight. Something is wrong here.

I used to have an office with a door and I could close that door. Oh, the sweet feeling of closing that door and getting my work done in peace. Now, my door is closed but it's closed out of concern for my safety. I'd rather be locked in with my students than be open and exposed to the other maniacs, uh, I mean students and parents and members of the general public who seem to be able to wander in at will.

I should have gone to see Obama. I would have been having fun. Instead I got a wicked headache from calming down insane children.

A shout out to all the good teachers that came to work today. Thank you! The rest of you slackers need to drag your sorry asses in to work tomorrow. I'm tired of holding your jock.


*******

A tip of the Rookie Schoolteacher chapeau to my friend Darcy, owner and operator of Darx Unplugged. She's got it going on in Ohio. I predict she'll be knitting a yellow Devo jumpsuit soon in celebration of Mark Mothersbaugh's honorary doctorate at Kent State. Anyway, check her out at the link over there on the side margin. You see it over there. Give it a click for delightful banter about living off the grid, crockpot cookery, knitting needles, and delightful movie and book reviews. I've known her for about 18 years now more or less. You'll be in good hands.

Special

I'm not in a very good mood tonight. We were off for MLK Day and as a result the kids were out of control today. I've had enough of sassy kids. I'm tired of obnoxious kids. I've had my fill.

I didn't have a chance to make any phone calls home tonight. I wanted to. I'll pay for that tomorrow.

My earache is back. I wish it would go away.

I was able to go running tonight. The running helped to alleviate some of the black cloud that's been lingering after my day. Writing this blog is helping to drain the rest of my frustration. Teaching isn't easy. It takes a special person to be a teacher. I'm not feeling so special tonight.

Bad Kids! Help!

I just finished calling a few parents about behavior problems today. I called Sam's house and spoke to his father (all names have been changed to protect the innocent).

Teach: "Hi, Sam's father? This is Sam's teacher."
Dad: "Oh, hello."
T: "I wanted to give you a call about Sam's behavior today in class."
D: "What did he do?"
T: "Well, he was disruptive, disrespectful, talkative, and angry. He wouldn't listen to me or to other teachers after lunch. He refused to get out his books. He didn't turn in any homework today and gave me attitude about it."
D: "SAM! Get your ass up! Shut off the damn Playstation, boy! What did you say he did? Talked back?"
T: "Yes sir."
D: "MOM, your son is in trouble! Get your ass in here! I got this, Mr. He won't be giving you any more worries." Click.

It's hard not to laugh as all hell breaks loose during your call to a problem kid's house. Of course I don't. It's Nagasaki and Hiroshima on Sam's ass over at his house. Or so it would seem. I hope they aren't too hard on him. I don't want the kid to get a beating. That's the common response to a call from the teacher. Not a spanking. A beating. That isn't going to change his behavior. It's very hard to reach a kid like "Sam" who's angry, distant, and has low skills. It's even harder if he associates you with a beat down from Dad. He also has a whole bunch of stuff that's happened to him that would knock a full-grown adult for a loop. I can understand why he's such a problem in my class. I'm sure he's a problem everywhere. That's not the point. How do I reach this kid? That's the point. What to do???? Help me No Child Left Behind!!!!!!!

Banging my head in 2008.

Today was good and bad. A lot of kids came ready to learn. About 5 came ready to screw around. I'm making phone calls to parents. I'm ready to teach. I'm so tired of being a disciplinarian. So much of my inner-city teaching experience is spent dealing with discipline issues. It's one of the most cited answers that teachers give when asked "Why did you leave the exciting and profitable world of teaching?" I'm not leaving any time soon. It's a hell of a lot easier teaching after a few years in. I'm sure next year will be even easier. Still, it is exhausting. It's like banging your head against the wall. The same kids never seem to get it.

A bright note, Chinese New Year is coming. MLK day is coming. Christmas is coming. Avon is calling.

Happy New Year!

Here's to the new year 2008. I wish everyone a happy new year and send good tidings your way. Can you feel them? That tingling that you thought was carpal tunnel syndrome. That's me baby. A little Rookie Schoolteacher coming at you.

Anyhow, I must work tomorrow. The teaching must happen. I wish there were a few more days of vacation time. To be honest, I have no interest in going in tomorrow. My students will be very hard to rein in. We will have to start as if it's the first day of school. Perhaps things will be OK? I will look on the bright side. Tomorrow is a new year. It's 2008. Everything is good. Everything is bright and new and the only way is up. Positive. Positive. I will be positive and my kids will be positive.

Well, I must pack my bag for tomorrow. I wish I had more corrected papers to put in. Teacher guilt. I did need a vacation, too. The papers will get corrected. Plus, there's a whole bunch of new stuff to correct coming in with my students. They all had projects to do over the break.

Literacy coaches are a waste of tax money.

I was raking the lawn today and it gave me some time to reflect. I am so busy as a teacher that it is hard to find quality time to be reflective. That was one of the things I was thinking about as I raked. I thought back to the meetings of the past week. Lots of meetings where administrators asked us teachers to complete huge forms identifying problem areas in our teaching and other forms describing all of the new strategies we will use to improve all the weaknesses in our students. These meetings make me miserable. The district has all of these administrators and coaches that do no classroom teaching. They make a lot more money than a lowly classroom teacher like the rookie schoolteacher. These people run these meetings where they literally sit on the teachers until they produce these documents. Why don't these people do their jobs?

I am a classroom teacher. I'm in the trenches fighting the good fight. I am not a general with an overview of the battle. I cannot formulate strategy. I'm trying to survive. I'm trying to keep my soldiers alive. That's it. The literacy coaches, math coaches, and principals all have the experience, courses, and time to analyze data and invent strategies for us to use. Why don't we teachers band together in these meetings and tell these lazy people to do their jobs? It really makes me sick. The coaches in my school never teach anything to anyone. They are always too busy to help you plan a lesson, teach a sample lesson, or help you figure out how to use the textbooks and all the materials that go with them. They are usually busy drinking coffee, running errands for the principal, or just missing in action. These people could be analyzing data. They simply are wasting time and they make classroom teachers do the work instead. Literacy coaches and math coaches are a waste of tax money.

I sure don't understand. Just some thoughts about the layers of unaccountability between my classroom and the door to the parking lot. Being reflective helped me rake the lawn. It sure looks nice except for those bare patches where the leaves wrecked the grass. Being a teacher just doesn't allow for much time for domestic chores during the teaching part of the year.

Merry, merry, merry!

Hi. Merry Christmas from the Rookie Schoolteacher Classroom to you and yours. Just a few notes on the day. The kids have gone. They partied down and ate a metric ton of sugar. They bounced around the school like pinballs. They left. Spent the afternoon partying down with professional development paperwork. That took friggin' forever. It's all over and all submitted and the administrative yen for mindless bull crap has been satisfied. Many trees have died and been put into yet another file cabinet never to be seen or read again. But, it's done. I feel a sense of accomplishment. A sense of peace. About half the year is done. I have time now to do some relaxation, catch up on paperwork, see the family, eat a metric ton of sugar, and perhaps do a 5k on the first of the year. We will see.

Do enjoy the holidays and enjoy whatever holiday you do. Remember, in the immortal words of Jake Blues, to "keep both feet on the wheel and do what you feel."

My early Xmas gift is a link to an appropriate Xmas video.

We built this city.

I was listening to the radio in the car this morning and "We built this city" by Starship came on. I listened for more than a few just astounded at what a blast from the past piece of steaming poop this song really is. Wow. Drugs are bad. Don't take them. That is the true message of Starship. This band was Jefferson Airplane and really cooked back about the time I was being born. Compare the two. One is protopunk and the other is a dog's dinner.

My kids are really starting to get nutty because of the impending arrival of Santa. Their behavior both socially and academically is taking a nosedive. The dive becomes deeper with each day. Some of my kids celebrate no holidays at all. I feel particularly bad for them. They are already marginalized by factors beyond their control and then celebrate religions that further separate them from everything. To be young, poor, and minority is bad enough. You have the shaft already. No xmas or substitute is so sad.

I'm returning to my pile of Saturday papers to grade. Much of it is junk. I need to reteach what isn't getting through. Their nuttiness doesn't permit much learning to get through. Thankfully, the holidays begin at the end of next week. I need to get to my work. I also need to turn up the thermostat. My fingers aren't typing too well. Snow and sleet is on the way. Come on snow and sleet. Work your magic. Put the whammy on Monday.

I pity the fool.

I was watching TV yesterday and saw this commercial. I love Mr. T. Check this out. I wish Mr. T was working in my school.

My students are up and down today. They really want to pick on each other lately. It's a shame. They take so much joy in hurting others. My school is superdisfunctional lately. There's no communication lately. Everything is just expected of us as teachers. The administration is accountable to nobody. We're running out of everything. Who's ordering supplies? I can't wait for next Friday. I can cruise to the 21st and then a sweet break. I need a break. I'm running on fumes.

Roky by way of Darcy

Roky Erickson is just the man. I bring this up because my friend Darcy sent me some You Tube links to cool songs and I started looking around. It's really easy to burn an hour on You Tube because one thing leads to another and you realize you've been watching the Skeletor Show for 45 minutes. Anyhow, Roky Erickson has a bunch of clips and he's just so much fun. Check out White Faces and then go nuts. I hope he plays Philly soon. I'll take my school kids... or not.

George Bush is Insane!

George Bush is bat shit crazy. He's just determined to go after Iran. He needs to be impeached. Iraq and the rest is more than enough for impeachment. More than enough to send him and the rest of his administration to jail. We as a people need to step up and say something.

Lesson plans cue the memories.

I'm doing my plans and listening to WFMU online. Some excellent punk rock makes the plans go faster. I noticed this wonderful shirt when I checked their site for a playlist from the show. $12. I'm going to get one of these. I used to listen to WFMU when I was at Seton Hall. I was on a dj on their radio station WSOU but I really wanted to be on 'FMU. WSOU was all metal at the time. It was 1986. Big hair was king. I was not about the hair but I wanted to spin records. I played what sort of sounded as unlike metal as possible. Stuff like "Ace of Spades" by Motorhead. I almost got thrown off the station because I played a song that wasn't metal. The guy that almost threw me off went on to work at B101. He's still there condemned to play Rick Astley for all eternity. "Never Gonna Give You Up..." Anyway, I digress into my ideal version of the past. I wanted to share a funny shirt. My avatar will be sporting this in some chat room for old college djs. Look for me. My head will look like Ira Kaplan's from Yo La Tengo. Gotta go. "Back in the New York Groove" by Ace Frehley is playing.

Welcome to December!

I finished my novel. I wrote 50,100 words from November 1-November 30. I fell off my word count around Thanksgiving and couldn't seem to get past 30,000 for a while and then whoosh it all came out. I wrote 10,000 words in two days and finished up about 8:00 last night! So I feel relieved and exhilarated and like a champion, baby! My novel is about the teaching life. I'm going to set it aside a few days and then read it and edit it and who knows? I'm going to send it out into the world and see what happens. National novel editing month is coming!

Hope everything is great with you. Thanks for reading. More posts to come. I'm back, baby!

I need to go because my daughter is running around singing "25 days until Christmas!" It's too funny.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey, happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Thanks for reading. I've been making pumpkin pies this morning and locating giblets inside our turkey carcass. At least I think they're giblets.

Not that many days to Christmas break! Yipee!

Mr? He mean!

I received a wonderful teacher compliment from a student. "Mr. is mean. Well, he's not mean, he's strict. He's nice, too." I'd like to be known as strict but nice at the same time. I don't know what I've been lately. I'm so full of mucus and sluggish. I really want to call out tomorrow but it always looks bad when you call out on a Friday. Plus, I'll sure as hell pay for it on Monday. A moment's pleasure and some cold recovery will turn into unbelievable torture come Monday. Just need to get through tomorrow. Sleep in Saturday and Sunday and then do three days and I cash in a 4-day weekend. I can do it!

On a positive note, the novel (about teaching, big surprise!) is coming along. To do 50,000 words in a month you've got to do 1667 words a day. I'm on it!

Cathartic Shredding Scissors

I was reading a teaching magazine today and came across some photos of a particularly vile ex-principal of mine. I took out these new shredding scissors my wife just bought at the Container Store and chopped the sh*t out of him. It was so cathartic. It would be nice if more of the people who have been horrible to me would show up in the day's mail. A few snips of their pictures into the recycling bin feels so good.

I have a day off for election day and it's been wonderful. The only problem is I have to go in tomorrow. My mood is disintegrating. My patience is evaporating because I deep down just want to stay in bed tomorrow instead of driving in to school to shape young minds. I haven't missed a day and won't until it's necessary but another day off would be sweet. It's ironic that teaching makes me less patient. It should be the other way around.