Monday, October 03, 2005

Sick of the BS!

Today was a day from Hell. Every Monday is hard because the kids seemingly forget everything over the weekend. This one was doubly hard because we are off tomorrow and Wednesday for religious holidays. What was the point in coming in today? The kids did nothing but screw around. No learning happened in my class today. Lots of temper tantrums, hurt feelings, paper throwing, crying, and some pointless rolling around on the floor. What the @&%*?

I'm in the wrong school. This is my second year in the inner city. I am not suited for this. I do very little substantive teaching. I do lots and lots of nothing. Nothing but managing the behavior of monsters. Well, managing makes me seem like I can actually do something. More like enduring the behavior of monsters who ignore me and every other adult. I'm sick of this. Sick of this. When will the moments of teaching ever happen for me? My life is enduring bull@*&% from monsters and filling out paperwork from indifferent administrators. I'm getting out of here. After this year I'll have two years of teaching under my belt, a masters, and Level 1 certification in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware. That's three states to choose from and there must be a better job in a better elementary school somewhere. I should not have to feel abused, disgusted, and demoralized 90% of the time. Life is too short.

I would like to work somewhere where I felt supported by my administration. A place where my calls for help are answered. Today I must have asked for assistance in my classroom 7 times after lunch. Not once did anyone come to my aid. I'm happy that I wasn't in danger but what if I was? I would have been in big trouble. This is an everyday occurrence in my school. No one is getting any help from school police or the NTAs. This happened last year too. It's dangerous and unacceptable.

I'm getting out after this year. I'm not making a difference. I'm wasting my life.

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