The Irony!

I drove up to North Jersey the other night for a meeting at Seton Hall about charter schools. I was stuck in traffic on South Orange Avenue and this man begins backing through the four lanes of traffic. He's on foot coming from the basketball courts across the way. I'm wondering why this guy is backing up and hoping that I don't run him over and then I look over and see the reason the guy's backing is the man in front of him is brandishing a big knife. He doesn't want to turn his back because he doesn't want that knife in his back. I'm inching toward this. There's nowhere to go. I just start laughing at the irony. What else to do? I've driven from my school's dangerous inner city neighborhood to Newark only to be involved in more inner city mayhem. I've actually driven 95 miles and paid turnpike and parkway tolls to get to this spot. What a life I lead as a teacher. I escaped from the knife wielding maniacs and got to my meeting in time to buy a Seton Hall t-shirt and score a beer and some hot dog bites. Ate some White Castle on the way back.

On the way to work...

I was driving to work this morning and about a block from my school there's a lady walking down the street. She is looking from side to side and dressed in a belly shirt. She looks out of place and looks suspicious. There's been this BMW driving erratically around me on the way in as well. The BMW has been driving slowly, weaving in and out of the lane, speeding up, and driving up to the curb. So I pass this woman and the BMW slows. I look in my rear view mirror and the woman is talking to the BMW. Hmm. A little prostitution? It's not just for breakfast anymore. What a neighborhood. This is about 500 feet from the school. I haven't seen any drug busts lately. In the past I've had to slow to allow the squad of ATF men to run across the street with battering ram. Someone was about to get arrested. Later today, there was a huge altercation across the street from where I park. I was leaving and in the corners of my mind there's this voice saying "get ready to hit the deck if this stuff gets out of hand." What an environment to work in. I only work here. My kids inhabit this environment.

On another front, I am so tired lately. I'm burning the candle at both ends. I can't catch myself up this week. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings to eat our time, too. Enough with the meetings, administration!

???

Another Sunday night turning into Monday morning and not being able to get to sleep....

Why? I'm ready for tomorrow. Just can't seem to shut down....

Reading

Another week in the books. My kids are still pretty good. There's some annoying behavior starting to surface, especially from the girls in the class. Girls love the drama. Everything is turned up to 11. Everything. My theory is they are imitating what they see at home and in their neighborhood environment. Everything there is street Shakespeare-style high drama at high volume - sex, drugs, guns, fire trucks, big chains, loud music, and big rims.

There is much to celebrate, though. Things are still very positive. My kids love to read. They beg for their independent reading time. The essential question is how do we keep that positivity and keep reading when it isn't material that they care about: eg, the curriculum? How do we keep it positive when reading is the essential part of understanding word problems? Word problems bring up another important set of questions that stem from the basic red-pen diagnostic. My kids read but their comprehension skills are absolutely not there. Their vocabulary skills are not there. They are good word callers but they don't understand what they are reading. How do I get their comp skills up and not destroy their natural interest in reading?

On another note, I'm transferring vinyl records to my iTunes as I work on this blog and other things. I'm listening to a record called Smallmouth by an under appreciated Columbus band, Scrawl. I haven't listened to this record in about 15 years. I forgot how good it is. Brings back wonderful cigarette hazy memories of the Khyber Pass. This ought to be available on CD. Are you listening Rough Trade?

A good Monday.

My kids were good today. Mondays are tough because it's hard for the children to transition from their world back to the shared school world. I'm happy that they can be so good. My classes in previous schools were not so great on Monday's or any other days for that matter.

I'm getting nervous about upcoming observations. I have nothing to worry about but it still gets to you. Some stage fright. Dread of administrators, too. I have very little positive experience to draw from where administrators come in.

Time for bed. I'll dream sweet dreams of completed homework and delicious sloppy joes.

Savoring it.

I'm up too late tonight, but my work is done. I've corrected my papers. Things are looking up. I'm on top of my endless wave of student work. I'm soaking this moment in. It could be the last time this year. Eventually, the work buries you.

Lesson Plans in the Can!

I just finished up my lesson plans. It was a beautiful day. I viewed it though the window as I typed on the laptop. I set up a wireless network at my house first. So it is a bittersweet day. I was able to type in my sunny back room instead of in the dungeon-like office. The magic of wireless internet service is the bomb. The data just zooms invisibly through the air. Amazing! God, I sound like a friggin' dummy. I'm sure someone's reading this saying "that rookie schoolteacher's brain must be made of cornmeal mush." Writing lessons for five hours kind of has that effect. I am done on a Saturday and that's a great thing. I can enjoy the rest of my precious weekend. In previous years, I was grumpily writing lessons until the wee hours of Monday morning. I wouldn't teach half of the stuff anyhow because the awful behavior of the kids derailed most of the lessons.

Tomorrow will be fun. I'm going to hunt for used books for the classroom library. My kids read and have requests. I'm looking for basketball stuff, some basic stuff for my low reader, Super Diaper Baby and Captain Underpants, any relationship fiction stuff for girls, and High School Musical. What's more fun than buying books?

It's the weekend.

Hello, everyone. I've had a wonderful week with my kids. I haven't said that in years. I have a great group of kids. I enjoy teaching them. I can't wait to get back and try new things with them. Having students that don't want to kill me is a soothing tonic. No one throws desks at me. No one throws punches at me. I'm not used to this.

Almost nostalgic

I was at work much too long today. We had afterschool meetings. I was going to do lesson planning tonight but instead I drank a beer and watched TV with the wife. A dumb movie and a beer is a great thing after a long day. Yes, I know, I should have planned the whole next week's lessons and then read Proust. Sorry, Margaret Spellings.

I am impressed with my kids. I've never had such a smart class. Not since student teaching in the suburbs. These kids know stuff. We worked on subjects and predicates today. Classes in the past would look at me like I'd sprouted another head when we'd go over this stuff. "Predicate? His sister live up around the way. Predicate use to go up at Stetson. Got his ass thrown out." My kids are different. "Ate is the predicate. Ate the sandwich is the complete predicate." My new school is a whole different ballgame. I'm not used to somewhat respectful kids with prior knowledge. To quote from the book of parentspeak, "I think I done died and gone to heaven." I'm almost bit nostalgic for being told to go f@#% myself before I lock up my car in the parking lot. Almost.

There's not enough time in the world...

I have so many ideas and so many things to do and not enough time. Being a teacher is a major undertaking. The old saw is teachers have it easy. Let me disabuse you of that line of thinking right now. We have so many things to do. I teach all the subjects and that means planning, teaching, and grading all the subjects. That's about a zillion papers over the course of the year. Add in all the other business to keep up on and now you're up to a jillion papers. There's meetings, parent nights, phone calls home, pretzel sales, etc. Each of these requires a file and papers and more meetings. Remember that big warehouse at the end of the first Indiana Jones movie? That's where it all goes at the end of the year.

Seriously, I have about 500 things a day to keep up on and if I get to 100 then it's a pretty good day. If you see a teacher give them a big kiss on the lips and then say "let's get you to Staples, the copies and supplies are on me." You'll be doing a big service.

Over and out. Time to correct more papers.

I'm Back, Baby!

It's official. I have returned to write more missives from the belly of the beast that is public school education. I'm at a different school. No more yucky principal from Hell busting my balls. Thank God I don't have to hear the wind whistling through that moron's bald head anymore. I'm reading a cool kid's book tonight, The Flunking of Joshua T. Bates by Susan Shreve. I love kid's lit.

I'm really tired the past few days. I haven't been sleeping too well for whatever reason and once you get behind that's it.

My class is pretty good. I have a few talkative girls. There's also some self esteem issues specific to the inner city. We are reluctant to start work. We mumble. We pout. We must get in the last word. It's manageable. We need to get pumped up and motivated. We'll do it.

Ah, it's good to be back. Now on to planning my lessons for next week.

So that's it

I was told today that my contract won't be renewed. I was told that I'm not inspiring enough. I was told this by the biggest phoney there is on God's green earth - my friggin' principal!! Talk about something that can't be quantified! How do you figure out if someone is or isn't inspiring?!!

I have a pretty sensitive BS detector. It's been going off since I met my principal and he told me he's an educator. Anyone who refers to himself as an educator is a douchebag. Over the summer, I realized after about 10 minutes with him that (1) he didn't like me and (2) wouldn't have hired me if he'd been hired and in place when I was interviewed months earlier. I'm not surprised to be on the losing end of equation at contract time.

I am surprised that nothing has ever been given to me in writing. There are no observation records of any kind. I've never had to sign anything. I've never been written up for anything. I've never had any discipline proceedings. I've never even been late. Everything is verbal. No paper trail.

Even if I do get a new contract, because that was held out as a very slim possiblity, I wouldn't want to work here. Charter schools suck. WE HAVE NO CURRICULUM! THEY WORK US LIKE SLAVES! WE HAVE NO CHANCE IN HELL OF MAKING AYP! IT'S ALL FOR SHOW! THERE'S NO THERE THERE!

Sorry to yell, but Charter schools suck. Don't be fooled. There must be some good ones, but all the ones that I've worked in are jokes. There isn't any high-quality anything happening. What is happening is a great deal of public money and trust is being flushed down the friggin' toilet. The kids lose, the public loses (especially those conservative creeps that seem to think school choice and vouchers are the Holy Grail), and the teachers really lose. Try working from 7 am to 3:45 without a break of any kind. Work for much, much less than a public teacher with a union makes. Work with a smile. Be inspiring! Inspire this!!

Too much monkey business.

I've run out of steam and goodwill and every other goddamn thing. I'm very very tired. Too much paperwork. Too much professional development. Too many meetings. Meetings, meetings, meetings, and meetings.

I'm burning out because there's too much that we're expected to do and our administrators don't see anything. They just expect more.

Every teacher in my school is under the same pressure and the principal just dumps more on us. More duties. More expectations. More frigging meetings. Do this paperwork. Have it all in triplicate by tomorrow. Oh, and we need to meet after school and during your prep and during your lunch. UNION! We need a UNION! If we had one this might be a bit more bearable. At least our pay would be better.

Wasting time blows

So it's the new year. I'm struggling this week. I have so much to do and no time to do it. The teacher's lot, right? Still, there's only so much work that I can do in a day. I've been up to 2 am for nights on end now doing paperwork, knocking out grades, etc. For all the work, I'm still behind and can't seem to catch myself up. We're all up against it at school and the administration just keeps us in meetings wasting our time. They don't care. They don't value our time. Meetings blow. Time wasting blows.

Bling, smoke, and mirrors

I haven't written regularly in some time. I'm going to be checking in more often. I'm dismayed by the state of education in our nation. The blind are leading the blind. Bling, smoke, and mirrors rule the day. Do you understand the whole thing rides on the cooperation of the children? Merit pay, NCLB, and the Scholastic book order all ride on the cooperation of the children. You play the hand you're dealt. My students are dancing as fast as they can, but when it comes down to it none of them are making it. I have 2 out of 32 that would make it in a school outside of the inner city. I was watching a news story about Houston and their school district. They have merit pay and it is increasing the scores or so they say. Bull! That's what I say. It's all lies. Mark my words!

Chops

My life is improving. My teaching life is not hopeless. I see a future and that was not possible before. I have moments of occasional doubt but that's the same in any profession. What's life without a bit of doubt now and again? My biggest problems are organization, correcting a never ending avalanche of papers, and improving my teaching. Improving my chops. That's what I really need to do.

I have doubts about keeping my job. Am I good enough? How can I get better? How can I help my kids get better? I want them to learn. I want them to get better. How can that happen?

I don't want to let them down. I don't want to let my school down. I want a chance.

Getting better

My new school is challenging me in new ways. I have some behavior problems that are slowly being fixed. Mostly, I need to improve my teaching. I was just staying alive in my last school. Now I need to get my skills up. I'm working and working and working. A teacher's work is never done.

Happy?

I am happy. I don't want to jinx myself so I'll stick with happy. I'm working in a new school and it's not insane. More later. I just wanted to check in. I'll let you know more soon.

Summer savor

Summer is wonderful. I'm just savoring it. Just being in the moment.

Reading, swimming, and drinking (with a little cleaning of the gutters for good measure).

It's already July 12th! Holy crap, Batman! Seriously, the summer is galloping away from me but it's good. So nice to be away from school. No masters degree work either. It's all good. I've been eating a lot of hot dogs, swimming as much as possible with my wife and daughter, and drinking a lot of cold beers. The good life. Time to get back to my book. It's so nice to read for pleasure again.