Sunday night blues

So it's Sunday night and I have not one bit of interest in going to work tomorrow. I have been in a bad mood about it all night. My wife is annoyed with me. My daughter would be too if she weren't 4. We went to a family birthday party and I just sat there stewing the whole time. I didn't want to go to the party because my weekend was filled with stuff I didn't want to do like writing papers for my graduate class and cleaning the house. It rained all day yesterday and today as well. The sun never came out. It's depressing. Baseball season has started and I can't get the game to come in on the radio. Like I said it's depressing. Things have got to change soon. I have a Papa John's pizza and wings on the way. Papa's wings and beer, help me!

It's so hard to come into work anyhow. I teach in North Philadelphia. My students cut me no slack and they are 4th graders. They don't listen to me and have never listened to me. Harry Wong and his First Days of School book have not worked any miracles for me in my classroom. I'm not sure what would work because my rookie butt gets pasted every day. The veterans have the same troubles and this helps me feel better (although not that much better). My across the hall neighbor's students flip every day and there's always a kid howling like a monkey outside her door. Lately, the ice cream truck parks outside our window at 2 p.m. so I have "Jingle Bells" playing on one side of the room and howling monkeys on the other and in the middle I attempt to teach while my kids go bananas. It's a mess.

What am I doing here? Am I making a difference? Am I making things worse? Should I stay? I ask myself these questions each day. I have no idea what the answers are. I wish that my rookie year were going better.