Weird Tales Inside the Goldmine

If you're expecting a Doors post because of my weird non sequitur head, please look elsewhere. If you are here for cutting-edge news you can use from education's top mind then read on.

President Bush is giving the Dalai Lama a Congressional Gold Medal today. I imagine it went something like "I want to award this Congressional Medal of Honor to the Dalai Lama, his heroism under fire was remarkable. He took on an entire company of Red Chinese at the Chosin Reservoir. He kept firing his trusty M-1. His ammo ran out and he used his rifle as a club. He singlehandedly destroyed two machine gun nests using only piano wire and a broken Ortega taco shell. He pulled out a man's heart and showed it to him before he died. When it was over he was covered in blood, wreathed in smoke, and surrounded by hundreds of Red Chinese and North Korean corpses. Thank you for your service. You are an inspiration." I'm sure there was a lot of awkward silence after they told him that the Dalai Lama is a man of God, not a Korean War vet. Perhaps they'll have feed from it on tonight's Letterman show. Every night they have funny footage of Bush putting his foot in his mouth.

I've received two weird and disconcerting Chinese fortune cookie messages in the past two days. "You make enough money that you should be able to hang on to some." "You will soon be taking a trip across great waters." One is an admonishment for my financial state. The other is an ominous warning of my impending death. I hope not. I don't want to die and I don't want to go to debtor's prison. We teachers don't make too much money. I will happily take any donations for my classroom. I'm not ready for a dirt nap, however.

My school is very disorganized lately and I continue to get new students on a daily basis. Hello? Powers that be? Yeah it's the teacher. Lay off. Enough already. I'm out of desks. Exnay on the udentstay.