Get me the F out. Santa needs me.

I'm sorry that it's taken so long to write. So much is going on in my life. It's just so busy right now with the holidays and the work and I'm tired. My kids are just off the hook lately. They don't know what to do with the impending presents or lack of presents, the bit of snow in the air, the performances and practices for the holiday shows and caroling, and the approaching end of the school year and end of the marking period.

Needless to say it's discipline paper city. I'm writing pink slips and holding detentions like they're going out of style. Administrators and counselors are nowhere to be seen. There's not a hint of help for us on the front line. I can't wait to get to the break because I can't do this for much longer. I'm tired of angry kids yelling at me and yelling at everyone else in the building. I'm f#$king tired. Get me to Christmas. Let me do my f#$king paperwork. Let me alone. I'm tired of noise. I want out.

I'm having a rough day. Please observe me.

I've had a rough day. Mondays suck but they suck harder when they follow a holiday break. I haven't bonded with this year's class yet. They didn't help me bond today with their surly behavior. I have a few boys who come to work just to get into mischief. One got suspended by our gym teacher. Two others kept up their insanity for most of the day. At least they hadn't started their misbehavior until after gym class. It didn't impact my observation during my literacy lesson this morning. Yes, the best times for observations in my school are just before or after a holiday, Fridays after lunch, and half days. Let's observe you when absolutely none of your students will give a crap about the lesson. Ugh. All in all, I think the lesson went OK. Not my best but good enough. I wasn't exactly at my best after 5 days off either. We'll see.

Coloring instead of rioting.

So we're doing an art project in the classroom and the kids are coloring and talking and things are going well for a change. Peace has broken out. Students are working together. Then...."If Obama had lost we were going to the Gallery to burn it down. Yeah, we were going to bust windows up on Lehigh Avenue and take a big television. My Dad was going to shoot some people. Oh, snap, if he hadn't won we were going to set everything on fire. We weren't coming to school on Wednesday." Oh, if only teaching wasn't so full of life lessons and challenges that crop up at every goddamn minute. "Excuse me. I need your attention. I'm not going to sit here and listen to this. If your candidate loses then you feel sad and try again next time. Feeling sad is normal. Feeling sad isn't an excuse for burning down the Gallery and running off through the mayhem with a plasma screen and Air Jordans tucked under each arm." And so it goes. The teaching and reprogramming continues. Reprogramming. Just another job that I do as your friendly neighborhood rookie schoolteacher. Oh, and it's on me. I can work for free without a union to watch my back. Just remember my reprogramming might be the only thing saving your plasma screen. Isn't that important when my contract is up?

I'm in the doldrums.

Teaching the entire year is similar to playing the entire baseball season. It's long and tiring. I'm in one of the low patches in the year. I'll get out of it but it's just paperwork, paperwork, and more stupid paperwork combined with unruly kids, unavailable parents, incredulous administrators, and stupid sh*t that keeps me from doing what I was hired to do - teach.

This week at school we're doing all sorts of spirit stuff for school spirit week. It's like color wars at summer camp. We should be preparing for benchmark testing but instead we're wasting miles of colored paper to make hall decorations and floats. It should be fun and it isn't and I'll tell you why. Almost all of the time the kids wear uniforms and there's no fun, not even candy, allowed in the school. It's depressing. The kids are miserable. It's like jail without the drugs. Anyway, this spirit week comes and now we can wear different clothes, we don't do much schoolwork, we do art stuff, and the kids go f*$%ing bananas because they don't know what to do with themselves. Fun is sort of a foreign concept to them. They don't have fun like everyone else. I'm not trying to condescend, they don't know what it is. Fun isn't laughter and good times. Fun for a lot of the students is calling each other ugly, poking each other with scissors, and stomping on the floor like it's a step dance competition. Needless to say, the fun I'm having is mostly reigning in the kids and trying to keep people from getting into fistfights. This spirit week crap is going to be the death of me. I hope we never do this again. I know, I sound like an old bitter grandma but damn it, this stuff is tougher than teaching. I'm running out of energy.

Thanksgiving can't come soon enough. There's only about 20 teaching days left for the year. Not than I'm counting or anything. I've got to recharge. I've got to recharge.

Do I have to?

I've been off and it's been nice. I so don't want to go in tomorrow. One of my teachers on my team is out for the rest of the week because of personal business. That means her class may or may not have a sub. If there's no sub the kids will be split into my class and other classes. That will create complete chaos. My class will show off for the new kids introduced into mine. Her students will show off for everyone because they will. I'm dreading it. Do I have to go?

Yes we can! Thanks America!

Thanks America! Thank you for electing a man who can speak and think. An author. This man writes his own speeches. He writes books. Thank you for electing a man with a brain. He actually uses the brain in his head. Thank you for electing an African American. We finally did it. Everything is possible in the United States of America and this election proves it.

Yes we can and we did. I really am inspired. Now I have to go teach the meaning of that word to my class. Get out your vocabulary notebooks....

I voted early and often.

I've been voting all day and it seems to have paid off; at least in the tri-state area. I'm hoping an Obama win is in the cards. It's looking great at 9:41 pm but who knows? The last 8 years have been a shitstorm of dirty tricks from the trickiest bunch to ever occupy the White House. We'll see. Satan, I mean Karl Rove, said it was over hours ago and gave it to Obama. Let's hope he's right.

I'm going to drink myself into oblivion if Obama loses. I'm not going to be in any shape to teach if that happens, regardless. I won't be the only one in a horrible hungover state at school tomorrow if Obama loses.

Do I really want to go into my inner city neighborhood to teach if Obama loses? I might want to wear my WW2 army helmet. There might be some anger.

World Serious

We finally won the world series. I couldn't be happier. I'd love to take off for the parade and maybe I will. Everyone will know where I am and that could pose problems with the principal. The kids will know, too. That will pose problems with discipline. I'm supposed to be the example. IT'S THE WORLD SERIES! Oh, well. We teachers have to uphold the virtues of responsibility and accountability.

I'm happy we won because it helps out a rather awful week. We're deep into the workload. My kids are way behind in everything and the administration wants us to fill out those graphs, spreadsheets, and reflections. Hours of time to do this. Almost all of those hours are unpaid and spent at home at night. We teachers have it easy, though.

My kids are horrible the past few days. They just keep talking and whining. It's getting old. It's hard to adjust to your new class each year. This class is not a lot of fun. They whine too much for me. I have little patience for whiners.

I have little patience for excuses and the people who make them. One of our administrators has changed this year. Last year he was all about accountability from the kids. "Kids need to do their work, maintain discipline, and get passing grades." That was last year. This year he is all about excuses. "These kids have lots of problems. Their home life sucks. Can't you give them another chance? Can't you give the student more time to complete his test? Can't you give a simpler quiz?" Everything is the teacher's fault and not the parent or child's. This excuse making is setting them up for failure. The world doesn't care that Joe has an IEP that says he can't write a paragraph. Making excuses doesn't do any favors. This administrator is changing everything in midstream. It's confusing everyone. No one knows the rules anymore.

Go Phils! Down with stupid paperwork and ridiculous meetings!

I'm so busy with grading, report cards, and stupid meetings. Our administration just wants to use up our available time. I have to be in the classroom teaching all day. Then I'm up all night for days in a row putting grades into the computer until my eyes cross and my head hits the keyboard. Every day this week my principal has meetings for me. Today I went to two. Everything needs to be done now. Let's look at benchmark results. Let's meet about last year's test results. Let's meet about strategies to integrate technology. Let's meet about strategies to improve metacognition. Let's meet about .... How about you let us teachers get our work done? I have about 15,000 little boxes to tick on the stupid computerized report card. I also have lessons to plan and write. I have a stack of papers to grade. I have detentions to supervise and write up. I have parents to call. I have a teacher I'm mentoring. I have lots to do. Let me do it!

Why do administrators forget what it's like to be a teacher when they become administrators? It's some law of human nature. It happens in all professions. Rare is the boss that remembers what it was like to be a grunt in the trenches. If only they would remember. The world would be so much more pleasant. So maybe paperwork would take a few extra days to complete? The world won't mind.

On another more pressing matter, GO PHILS! Cole Hamels pitched a gem tonight. If only we'd stop leaving people on base. We could have scored a hell of a lot more runs. Thank goodness 3 runs did it. Tomorrow I'm teaching in a Phillies cap and a strategically placed rally towel. So comfy. My principal is going to love it.

Rollin' Maverick-Style with Obama/Ayers.

I'm really tired of hearing about William Ayers. McCain was talking about it yet again in last night's debate. It's one of the few things he's got at this point. I first learned about William Ayers when I took my first education class at Drexel. My professor assigned the book To Teach by William Ayers. I read it, got some teaching insight, and moved on. A few years passed and I read a review of the book lambasting the author for his time with the Weathermen. I looked it up and low and behold the guy was in the Weathermen. Strange coincidence. I moved on again. More years have passed and now Obama is a terrorist sympathizer because he knows this guy. I guess I'm a terrorist sympathizer because I read his book and got a few teaching insights? Is Teachers College Press at Columbia fomenting terrorism? Drexel University? Professor Brown? I don't think so. Any thinking person wouldn't. Thank God thinking people are concerned about actual issues. The economy is in the tank. My paltry 403b plan is getting carpetbombed. McCain is down double digits. Watching that creep squirm as I watched the playback of last night's debate before work was just delicious.

Perhaps Obama was being a little too maverick for the maverick by hanging with Ayers? Am I? I still have this book. I haven't thrown it on the bonfire. I am so maverick.

Obama in Philly

Here are some photos of Obama I took last Saturday in Philly. I took the family up to Progress Plaza in North Philly to check him out. It was awesome. Lots and lots of nice people were there. I'm very hopeful for the future. I had a picture of William Ayers French kissing Obama but it didn't come out. Sorry. (Wouldn't a pic like that make McCain's Republican base explode? It would have lots of their favorite flavors of red meat: French stuff, homosexuality, terrorism, hippie residue, and a union teacher.)

Cole Hamels for President/Shane Victorino for Vice President!

Go Phils! National League Champions! Kiss it, McCarver! This beer-soaked Rookie Schoolteacher is blogging live on the street at Broad and Pattison with thousands of others. It's been a long time coming! Too bad there's school tomorrow. Perhaps a day off when we take the World Series?

Aggravated!

I hate Tim McCarver, Randy Newman, and Manny Ramirez like poison. I'm watching the game and correcting papers at the same time and just thought you ought to know. I'm going to throw a beer bottle through the TV if they play that damn "I love LA" song again. Could Fox have given us a worse pair of announcers than Joe Buck and McCarver? They never have anything good to say about the Phils. I still haven't forgiven McCarver for his lack of respect for the '93 team during their playoff games. Shut up, McCarver! Stop playing Randy Newman, Fox!

Notes from the right side of my mind.

I was referencing the ALA website list of 100 frequently banned books 1990-2000 and a few other related pages on their website when I wrote the last post. I should have included it last night but left it out. Forgive me, I was drunk... drunk on Phillies 2 in a row over the Brewcrew Baby!!!!!! Also I wrote as I was yelling at the TV during the Vice Presidential debate. That Palin sets my teeth on edge. Sorry.

Happy Banned Books Week

Happy Banned Books Week to you and yours. I love reading and love reading those banned books. My classroom is stocked with quite a few - Harry Potter, Captain Underpants, Judy Blume, The Giver, How to Eat Fried Worms, Ulysses. I'm kidding about the Ulysses. Their brains would explode on James Joyce. I had a good discussion with my kids about banned books. They got it. "I would punch them in the face if they took my books!" It warmed my heart to see them run to Harriet the Spy when they found out it was a banned book.

What's your favorite banned book? Mine is The Autobiography of Malcolm X. It's very hard to choose. So many wonderful books have been banned. Feel free to write in with your fave banned books.

?

My kids were just horrible today. I'm not sure why. Lots of whining, talking, blaming, tattling, and laziness. I'm not sure why I haven't gone to bed. I'm exhausted.

I give a math test and a science test tomorrow. I'm thinking there's going to be a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. Perhaps they'll pay attention when they get their grade and it sucks?
We'll see.

Sometimes you just wonder what it's all for.

(Clip art licensed from the Clip Art Gallery on DiscoverySchool.com)

Happy they are gone.

I'm unwinding from my day. I'm sitting in my classroom with the door open and listening to the school empty out. I can't believe how noisy it is. My kids were really talkative this afternoon. Some days are like this. You get your class back from lunch and they're a different bunch than you started with. I trace today's behaviors in the afternoon to the way my students were treated at lunch. They were yelled out by the lunch monitors and the lunch servers for the entire 45-minute period. They didn't go out to recess. They were made to sit longer and listen to more yelling when the period was over because of their behavior. They ate in silence. They weren't allowed to get up and move around. Some of this they earned because of bad choices. A few students were pushing others. A few were talking too loudly and wouldn't stop. That's pretty normal for lunch. Did it require a teacher yelling at them through a bullhorn for 45 minutes?

We talk a lot about discipline and breaking cycles of despair and defeat. We talk a lot about using new methods and restorative discipline. After all this talk, many people in my school just go back to doing the same old thing. Yelling at kids with a bullhorn is the wrong thing to do and results in my class becoming nutty for the rest of the the day. I have a super headache from them because they wouldn't stop talking. Sheesh.

Happy Rosh Hashanah to all of my Jewish friends and family.

Fail to plan, Plan to fail.

I'm concerned about the economy. This $700 million bailout frightens me, too. Think about how many screw ups the Bush Administration has gotten us into by telling us we have to act right now. Think about how many people have been maimed, imprisoned, or killed and think about how much money has been squandered. Every time Bush or an interchangeable Bush crony has said we have to act now. No time for debate or contract bids. No time for a plan. Is this what they teach at Harvard Business School?

This rookie schoolteacher gives this new plan and this administration an F. Teacher comments - Fail to plan. Plan to fail.

Isn't it ironic?

I'm always on my students to have their independent reading book with them and ready for action. Guess who forgot his independent reading book at school? I hate when I do that.

I don't have much time to read it anyway because of all the paperwork I have to do. I had a parent/student conference today and writing up my notes from that adds more paperwork to my day. If this boy would simply take his meds my life would be so easy. Before becoming a teacher and a parent, I thought medicating kids was a cruel joke and a crutch. Teaching for all this time has disabused me of that position. This boy Stanley is a case in point. Without his meds he's a holy terror. He's manic. He can't control himself physically and emotionally. With the medicine he's a calm, smart, sweet kid. He's trapped in his own body without meds. I can see the real Stanley peeking out as he's rolling on the floor without meds. So sad. Mom, if you're reading GIVE STANLEY HIS MEDS so he can learn in room 312 tomorrow!

My mountain of work awaits.

Diminishing returns

It's on. I'm overwhelmed with paperwork. The school is under the gun with making AYP and I don't see how we're going to do it. Our state test scores continue to drop instead of rise. This is the law of diminishing returns that I warned would be the result of NCLB. Anyway, raising our test scores is our mantra and I'm going to do it one ream of paper into the copier and then into the file cabinet at a time.

My new crop of kids aren't going to be setting the state tests on fire, unless they use a lighter. I will do everything once again to help them succeed. I hope it is enough. Everything is still the same, however. The kids are the same sullen mess. The parents have high hopes but have already disappeared after the first flurry of detention slips. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. It's looking bleak as I grade the first math test of the year. Almost everyone bombed it - except for the kid who's repeating the grade.

On a brighter note, I'm mentoring a new teacher. I'm sure that I'll be better than my mentor. I don't ride a broom to work (rim shot).