Pulling Back

Today wasn't so bad. I'm learning to pull back instead of yelling and getting visibly upset. Getting angry doesn't do anything anyhow. The kids tune out the yelling. An atomic bomb wouldn't stop some of the annoying behaviors that manifest in my room. These kids have teams of psychiatrists, psychologists, physicians, counselors, and teachers working on their individual cases and to no avail. What the hell am I going to do? It's not hopeless but it's very close. The problem is that these kids take no responsibility for anything they do. NONE. They get this attitude from their parents and friends and the almighty street. Can't forget the street. Nothing will change until some responsibility is taken.

A kid told me to f%&k off today. This kid came into my room for no reason and told me to f%&k off. He's not my student. I barely know this kid. He took no responsibility for his actions. His mom said "Tomas is good boy." That's all we could get out of her. Hmm. This "good boy" is on the wrong path. I hope this "good boy" isn't in jail in a couple of years.

No way to run a railroad

Well, tomorrow is Wednesday. I need to get through this week. I don't feel good now. I'm tired and my tummy hurts. Teaching is exhausting, especially in our school. We've got way too many teachers out. It will only get worse as it gets closer to the end of the year. Consequently with all the teachers out things get chaotic. Kids run the halls. Classes are in uproar. No one listens to adults. Everything gets f&@$ed up.

Cold Gin

I'm drinking a gin and tonic as I write to you. Springtime is here and a gin and tonic seems right. A tonic after my day in front of a blackboard. The kids were ok for the morning and then the wheels came off after lunch. The usual. Good stuff did happen today. My good kids were great. One of my girls has made a wonderful transition from behavior problem and apathetic student to A's and B's. I am making a difference. She was hell on wheels when I got her and now she's a super kid. I never gave up on her and it paid off. I know I'll never reach them all but if I get one or two then it makes up for everything else.

I've got to nail down my crazy kids. They are getting crazier by the day. I've got to get the kids through to June 21. Some conferences and tears are going to have to be shed. A few are not going to pass. I won't allow it. Things are going to get ugly.

Back and not as bad as I thought.

First day back from Spring Break. I was expecting the worst and it wasn't that bad. Perhaps that's the secret to this?

I did miss my class and was very happy to see them today. I guess I'm not a complete failure. I love these kids in all honesty and I love being a teacher. I'm just not very good at it in my current situation.

One of the problems with coming back from vacation or weekends (or any day of the week, actually) is that teachers just don't come to work. Everything gets messed up when this happens. We don't get preps. The day gets much longer and harder. The kids get upset. Hopefully, more teachers will be here tomorrow.

I am a failure

I got through today but it wasn't pretty. I pitched every friggin' inning though. I am so sick of fighting with students. It's April and these children are just as evil and incorrigible as they were back in September. What really bugs me is how much I have not been able to teach them. I have failed my students because many of them are no better academically. Some are worse.